I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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