yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
