C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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