I wanna bring you to show and tell
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
