I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Randomize
