i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
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