I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
whose ass print is on the piano?
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Randomize