Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
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