You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
