tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
