Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
