Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
