just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Randomize