Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
