Old men and throwing up are my life now.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I think people are normalizing furries
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
