you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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