Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
NoShamevember. You game?
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
