She announced her abortion via fbk
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
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