So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
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