i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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