I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
