I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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