You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
