I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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