You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
She said her name was "party"
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
