This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Randomize
