R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
