Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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