Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Randomize
