I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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