Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize