my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Bring me that man meat
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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