you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
