she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
