I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Randomize
