fuck your aforementioned shoe
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
