some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
