nut hugger
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
