we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
