I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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