You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
