Buhtt sex?
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Your penis caused this!
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Randomize
