It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
