You work out of a Hotel?
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Randomize