i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
