i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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