My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Dick very happy bro
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
