tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
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