I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
