Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
