Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
