Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Randomize
