i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
i now understand why vodka
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
