I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
