two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize