so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
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