Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
